Play my EXCITING choose your own adventure game!

Fei Ayanami · Post by **Fei Ayanami** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 9:42 pm

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
Top of the Line 2nd Person Literature

Goodness, you're hungry today! Perhaps it's because you threw up so much this morning. You weren't hungry then!
Make a choice:

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a) You clean the bathroom walls
[spoiler]You find some Windex and some bleach and get to work. You think "I will reward my hard work with a delicious meal!" Unfortunately, you neglect to remember that that ammonia and bleach react together to form a poisonous gas, and die uncomfortably without a last meal.

YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

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b) You clean the bed sheets
[spoiler]What were you thinking even looking into the bedroom this soon after vomiting all over it? You crack a window and return to page 35. (I mean, close this spoiler tag and make a different choice)

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c) You leave the house to find some food
[spoiler]You open the front door. Why, it's your old friend Alexander! He is laying dead on the front lawn. You don't remember what happened last night, but you do feel as though you've already come to terms with this loss.
Make a choice:

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a) You walk two blocks to Burger Fence.
[spoiler]The walk is long and hard, but your excitement over getting the Fencer's Feast special makes the time go fast. When you arrive, you notice Burger Fence has burned to the ground. One employee is still alive amidst the rubble. Her name is Trisha.
Make a choice:

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a) You ask Trisha what happened here.
[spoiler]Trisha explains that earlier in the day, she had made the bold statement that if one more idiot customer ordered the disgusting and obviously dangerously inedible Fencer's Feast special, she would, in her words, "burn this fucking garbage ass trash garbage to the ground." True to her word, Trisha had done just that when a young goofus by name of Alexander had waltzed in and demanded that very meal not hours earlier, though not before serving him an extra-potent Fencer's Feast.
Return to PREVIOUS SECTION and make another choice!

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b) You ask Trisha how long she thinks it will take to get to Mr. Pizza.
[spoiler]Trisha says "Mr. Pizza? Where that guy Harim works, right? I love that place. I know how to get there, you can just follow me." Congratulations, you have found true love! You win!

PLEASE PURCHASE MORE OF OUR FUN ADVENTURES

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c) You order the Fencer's Feast special from Trisha.
[spoiler]Trisha walks wordlessly to the remains of the deep fryer, immerses herself in its thick brown oil, climbs out, and walks back to you. She asks you for a light. You do have a lighter which you mostly use to assist your drug habit.
Make a choice:

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a) You offer her your lighter.
[spoiler]Trisha thanks you with a big hug, and then sets you on fire. You lose!

AT LEAST TRISHA PROBABLY DIED TOO

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b) You lie, and say you don't have a lighter.
[spoiler]Trisha doesn't know what to make of this statement. "I'm sure I saw you smoking crack cocaine out back just the other night. Was that you? Were you using someone else's lighter or something?" Never one for being put on the spot, you push Trisha to the ground and step on her repeatedly until she is dead. Trisha is large and tough, and this takes a little while. By the time you have killed her to your satisfaction, the police have arrived. You lose!

THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS ON PAGE 66

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c) You tell her you do have a lighter but that you refuse to let her use it.
[spoiler]Trisha takes offense to this, as you expected she might. She goes on about how just because she burned down her workplace, that doesn't make her a pyromaniac, she can handle a simple lighter, she's not crazy, give her your fucking lighter, she'll burn you, she swears, and so on. You only see one option available.
Make a choice:

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a) You eat Trisha.
[spoiler]Delicious! You win!

TRISHA SURE WAS UGLY AND CRAZY

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d) You eat Trisha.
[spoiler]Trisha doesn't take well to this suggestion, but soon gives in when you end her life. You decide you would feel worse about the cannibalism if Trisha weren't so ugly. She was probably stupid too. Moral issues aside, she does make for a surprisingly satisfying meal. Congratulations, you win!

STAY TUNED FOR THE PREQUEL TRILOGY

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b) You walk four blocks to Mr. Pizza.
[spoiler]Just a hop, skip, jump, climb, and seventy-seven steps away, Mr. Pizza always provides you with pizza that truly lives up to the name cheap. On the way, you wonder what kind of pizza you should get. You think it's best not to come to any firm decisions, as Mr. Pizza rarely provides more than one type of pizza at any given time. You arrive to the cacophonous sound of bells hanging from the door, and are greeted by the familiar stare of Harim.
Make a choice:

a) You order a slice of ham & pineapple pizza.
[spoiler]Harim grabs you a slice of pizza and manages to stare at you throughout the entire transaction. You are left feeling unsettled, and your feelings do not improve when you bite into the pizza. Whatever you are, though, you are certainly not hungry anymore. Congratulations, you... win?

DON'T PLAY THIS AGAIN, YOU MIGHT LOSE WORSE

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b) You don't order a slice of ham & pineapple pizza.
[spoiler]Congratulations, you win!

GOD MODE UNLOCKED

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c) You walk nine blocks to Royal Gardens Plaza Diner.
[spoiler]What a long, long walk! And for what? A diner that will only serve royalty. What a let-down. While looking for money to bribe your way in, however, you notice that you have a Burger Fence Fence-Me-In hat crammed into your back pocket. It might pass for a royal crown.
Make a choice:

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a) You go home unfed.
[spoiler]Well, you walked nine blocks and didn't get a damn thing to eat. And now it seems you have to walk nine blocks back home, to your vomit-stained shit hole. Or do you?
Make a choice:

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a) You lay down in the gutter, fully expecting to die of starvation in the night.
[spoiler]Your night in the gutter is rough and wet, and full of frightening encounters with hobos, but you make it to the next morning without dying. You hadn't planned for things to turn out this way. You lose.

REMEMBER: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOURSELF!

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b) You lay down on a park bench, fully expecting to die of starvation in the night.
[spoiler]You find park benches to be more relaxing than you'd ever imagined, especially when you can get a hold of some old newspapers to cover yourself with. You decide this is as good a way as any to die, and are horrified to find that you live through the night. You lose.

CHOICE IS WHAT SEPARATES MEN FROM ROCKS

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c) You walk home, fully expecting to die of starvation on the way.
[spoiler]Actually, you make it home just fine, and are pretty much as hungry as you were before. Return to the beginning of the game!

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d) You die of starvation.
[spoiler]You win!

DEATH WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

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b) You put on your fake crown and try to get into the diner.
[spoiler]You place the round cardboard fence on your head and approach the diner as royally as possible. "Excuse me SIRS," you say, "but WE are late for our DELICIOUS eatings!" You wait for a response, and when you notice nobody is actually guarding the door, you walk in. As it turns out, Royal Gardens Plaza Diner is just a regular family restaurant! However, you don't have a fake cardboard family in your back pocket. You lose!

THIS GAME HATES YOU

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c) You win using violence.
[spoiler]Joke's on you! You lose!

ASSHOLE

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d) You eat Alexander.
[spoiler]This seemed like a really funny idea at first, but once you've consumed a sizeable chunk out of Alexander's upper right thigh and buttock, you feel quite ill again, and horrified at your own cannibalism and the loss of a friend. However, you also feel you've hit bottom in a way few men do, and will probably come out better for it. Unfortunately, Alexander had died from a Burger Fence overdose, and his body was still rich and bloated with his meal. As a result, you find that you are unable to remain alive.

TRY AGAIN IN OUR NEXT EPIC ADVENTURE. PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 59 AND BEGIN AGAIN.

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d) You clean the back porch
[spoiler]You steal the neighbor's hose and try to wash away the stains from last night and this morning. And hey, there are some from two weeks ago! You fail, but feel you deserve a meal to make up for the time you wasted. Go back and choose c, already.

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saranicole · Post by **saranicole** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 9:49 pm

Aw, it's making me feel all nostalgic for those 'make your own story' books I use to read.

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:01 pm

Awesome

Me wants some Maple Syrup Pizza now

So when are you gonna post the prequel?

WaWard · Post by **WaWard** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:13 pm

[spoiler]I ate alexander and my adventure ended

[/spoiler]

Cybernetic Empire · Post by **Cybernetic Empire** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:35 pm

Ward wrote:[spoiler]I ate alexander and my adventure ended [/spoiler]

Or mabey it just began!

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 10:37 pm

Ward wrote:[spoiler]I ate alexander and my adventure ended [/spoiler]

I did the same but then cheated and tried other options

Fei Ayanami · Post by **Fei Ayanami** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:15 pm

hint: cheating increases your chance of winning!

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Mon Jun 13, 2005 11:34 pm

[spoiler]Next [google]EXCITING adventure game[/google] should make use of [google]google tags[/google] [google]

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[spoiler]But that's just my [google]opinion[/google]

[spoiler]a)[spoiler]

[/spoiler]
b)[spoiler][google]

[/google][/spoiler]
c)[spoiler][google]

[/google][/spoiler]
[google]d)[/google][spoiler][google]

[/google][spoiler] [google]

[/google] [/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler]

Seifer Almasy · Post by **Seifer Almasy** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 6:06 am

Hahahah, why don't you write things?! Super!

Entr0pi3 · Post by **Entr0pi3** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 8:34 am

Ahah, this is great

The weird thing is, with all those people abusing spoiler tags lately, I was just thinking about how one could use them to write an interactive story of some sort

Plaztik · Post by **Plaztik** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 8:50 am

this game hates me apperently

Fei Ayanami · Post by **Fei Ayanami** » Tue Jun 14, 2005 11:51 pm

that's what you get for not having a family, loser

ruroken · Post by **ruroken** » Wed Jun 15, 2005 5:20 am

I like the highschool ones where you try to get girls to put out.

Lord Golbez · Post by **Lord Golbez** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:03 pm

What do I get for unlocking God Mode?

Damien · Post by **Damien** » Thu Jun 16, 2005 3:05 pm

HAHA, nice

I'll check this out propperly later after my initial skim of the forums

Fei Ayanami · Post by **Fei Ayanami** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 12:29 am

Lord Golbez wrote:What do I get for unlocking God Mode?

you get to play it again!

Kakeru · Post by **Kakeru** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 3:45 am

I cheated.

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 5:21 am

Who didn't?

ruroken · Post by **ruroken** » Fri Jun 17, 2005 7:20 am

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Sat Jun 18, 2005 12:35 pm

Lies

Fei Ayanami · Post by **Fei Ayanami** » Fri Feb 10, 2017 8:25 pm

In continuing my thread-digging adventures, I completely forget making this, but I approve of it.

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:32 pm

Haha, nice!

I can't remember who, but someone once told me they wrote an actual choose your own adventure book and got it published. Yes, there's apparently still a niche market for those.

Lord Golbez · Post by **Lord Golbez** » Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:41 pm

Dammit Fei, stop resting on your laurels and make some new threads!

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:51 pm

I agree. First a new adventure game, then a new children's book. And this time, actually publish it, I dare you!

Fei Ayanami · Post by **Fei Ayanami** » Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:34 pm

But my laurels...!

Lord Golbez · Post by **Lord Golbez** » Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:47 pm

No, let them go. They're 12 years old. Let them go.

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Sat Feb 11, 2017 7:41 pm

Time to move on?
Anyway, just make some new threads!

Fei Ayanami · Post by **Fei Ayanami** » Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:05 pm

I did! It's (appropriately) active!

Lord Golbez · Post by **Lord Golbez** » Sat Feb 11, 2017 8:16 pm

Fair point. This is acceptable.

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:23 pm

I suppose recycling threads is ok once in a while.

Damien · Post by **Damien** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:46 pm

Damien wrote:HAHA, nice
I'll check this out propperly later after my initial skim of the forums

I've now checked this out properly

Fei Ayanami · Post by **Fei Ayanami** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 7:23 pm

About time!

I should too since I've totally forgotten it. Was it any good?

Calbrena · Post by **Calbrena** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 7:35 pm

smeared ink wrote:Was it any good?

A/ It was.
[spoiler]Now, go write the sequel. You may become a millionaire thanks to it.[/spoiler]
B/ It wasn't.
[spoiler]That's ok, practice makes perfect, as they say. Now, give it another try.[/spoiler]
C/ It could have been better.
[spoiler]Some parts were ok, but others were pretty dull. However, you could improve them by reworking on your first draft, and adding a few things here an there.[/spoiler]
D/ Undine.
[spoiler]Go write a new version of this and make it about Undine, you can be sure your success rate will be much closer to 100%.[/spoiler]

Damien · Post by **Damien** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 8:43 pm

smeared ink wrote:About time!

I should too since I've totally forgotten it. Was it any good?

I didn't really want to kill and eat any humans, but it didn't seem to give me any appropriate choices.