Wow, am I the only person here who actually
like graveyards?
... now I guess I'll be labeled a total weirdo/sick morbid person if I admit I actually willfully visited some, and reviewed them for fun with friends?
Seriously, very interesting places, they are
Don't you think pyramids and old tombs and such (eg Paris catacombs) are interesting, from a cultural/historical perspective? Well, same thing in my book, really. Graveyards, tombstones inscriptions, funeral iconography... they have it's many stories to tell (more than often interwining with History, obviously)
To me the idea of getting rid of graveyards coz they're depressing (people die, spoilAer. And yes tombstones get old and decay and eventually disappear just like people, but so what? That decaying process is also part of the story: dead people get forgotten, spoilAer again), or a waste of space, or whatever, sounds a bit like wanting to burn down a library or a museum, and build a mall there instead. Except worse.
...
I think it's important that a society as whole dedicates at least a little bit of place and time and efforts to their deads. Like, a symbolic way of saying how much human life is valuable (+ keeping in mind it's short, too).
A more "rational" solution would be to recycle the bodies, obviously... Actually I wouldn't really mind that, as far as I'm concerned: letting the medics picking up whatever organs they can salvage and re-use on someone else, then dispose of the rest in the most productive way, like making some fertilizer for flowers (cremation and burial in a block of cement both look like a bit of a waste of good material, if you ask me). A bit of an extreme perspective, I guess, I'm sure it would hurt some people's sensibilities, and I would certainely not want to impose that as a universal law, it's just my personal take on these things
Anyway... Still, whatever happens to the body, I think it's also very important to have a ceremony of some sort for friends and relatives (and even a ceremony just for the sake of it - out of human decency? - if the deceased had no one). Plaques and flower and such certainely have little practical use, but as a symbolic gesture (the last thing you can offer someone you loved before saying a last good-bye) they certainely do help people deal with mourning. Rituals. Meaningless stuff if you do them just out of respect for a custom you don't really understand/believe in, but meaningfull stuff if thoughts and actions match and you really pour your heart into it. Obviously it realistically doesn't make any difference to the person who's dead. But it's the thought that count. And proper actions can amplify the thought.
... To me rituals (of any sorts) are important (almost "sacred", even if you're not into religious/spiritual stuff. If someone truly think a ritual/custom is important and meaningful to them, then yes they are, and should be respected, IMO) "useless" things (one of the many silly things human do that don't really make that much sense if you think about it, except it's what makes them human and not just elaborate thinking machines). But to each their own, obviously: burial, flowers, plaques, cremation, jar, scattering, big funeral party, alcohol, sex, whatever...
... I don't really mind, tbh. I'm flexible. As far as my own dear departed are concerned, I like paying a visit to my father's family tombstone from now and then when I happen to be near the area. Don't like doing it when my dad is around (like on All Saints Day), but the problem lies with him, nothing to do with my gramps, don't see why they should pay the consequence of me not getting along to well with their son. Decent, simple people they were. A bit on the traditional side (though I didn't know them that much), so remembering them by paying a visit to their tomb seems like the right thing to do. That's what they would have expected, I reckon. No reason to contradict their supposed wish.
My other gramp on the contrary got cremated and has no tombstone, not a problem either. There is the very nice place where his ashes got scattered that I remember fondly, there is the photograph I got from my grandma and which currently stands on my desk. I don't need these things to remember him. So far. But memory is a tricky thing, and it decays over time too. Having material souvenirs helps keeping in touch with the more abstract emotional stuff. Rituals and such can be seen as a neat memory trick actually, when I think about it
Then there is also the non-family people, like that friend/teacher of mine who died halfway through my last college year. Supposedly got cremated shortly after the event. Have no idea what his family did with ashes. There was another official ceremony eventually, and a plaque in one of the classrooms. I'm not sure he would have appreciated
. Some of the college staff at the ceremony I think he would rather have liked seeing dead (especially after the dirty messy business that followed his "unexpected departure"). But still, it was a meaningful emotional event for the students (especially those counting him as a friend), and that's what would have mattered to him most.
I don't really care about the plaque (it's a bit rubbish, tbh. However, no plaque at all would have been even more wrong, so... whatever), my memories rather lies in his crappy old personal website where I still come to consult some of his lessons for reference from time to time, and the other paper course material I still have with me (till I'll scan them)... + in the same old drink I'd have everytime he'd invited us to go in a bar, and in all the (good and bad
) skills, attitudes, beliefs, work habits and teaching mannerism I seem to have partly inherited from him
So yeah, hm, I like remembering my dear departed... not that I have much of a choice, anyway
if I didn't, they'd still come and haunt me, you know? Ghosts, memories, same thing. Got to learn how to put up with them. Each in their own personal way.
As far as my own death is concerned, don't really care. Well, I'm serious about the "don't let these precious organs go to waste" thing (should make sure I have an official paper of some sort stating this, so that there's no misunderstanding, I guess
), but apart from that, whatever seems most convenient to the people who will have to take care of the mess, you know.
... Though I guess I would rather enjoy the idea of my favorite people having a huge party of some sort
(and then regularly having a drink together or something, and thinking about me, like for my birthday or whatever). But not out of moral obligation/mere tradition, now that's be pointless and annoying
